Decision Making 101
I have never been fond of making decisions. I don’t mind the responsibility of having to make a decision, but I have always been terrified that I might make a wrong choice and mess up my life. Oh, I am not talking about which flavor of ice cream to choose… But, rather in terms of… Whom should I marry? Should I go back to work? What kind of education do we want our kids to have?
I’ve been there all too often. Over the years, I have found myself following a pattern for every decision I make and it seems to be quite effective. The only tools you will need are a notepad, pen and a sound, unbiased mind! 🙂
My first ever decision making method – one I started used when I was 13 {yes, I had to make very important decisions at 13 ;)} was the pros and cons list. It was simple and straightforward and it served the purpose at that time. Here’s how I did it back then…
- On a piece of paper, write down all the pros in one column and the cons in another.
- If the pros outweigh the cons, you are good to go.
- However, if the cons outweigh the pros, then look at each item on the cons list individually.
- Ask questions like… Does it really matter to me? Is there a work around?
- As these questions are answered, you might be able to strike a few items off the cons list.
- Review the list again, and if the cons still outweigh the pros, then you may have to ditch the plan.
- If the pros outweigh the cons, go for it!
This method worked pretty well for me all through my teens and early twenties. And then I got married, had triplets and life got a whole lot more complicated… I soon realized decisions no longer revolved around “do the pros outweigh the cons”. There were several other factors to consider when making a decision. Over the years my husband and I have asked ourselves some tough questions when it came to making decisions for ourselves or for our family.
- Do I really want to do it?
- Is it going to benefit anybody else beside me?
- If I go ahead with it, will I be at peace?
- If I say “No”, will I regret it later?
- Do I want to do it just because of the financial benefit ?
- Will it deprive me of my time with God and my family?
- Is it really worth the extra time and effort?
- Am I doing it to please someone else?
- What does my spouse feel about it?
- Is it in line with the principles I stand by?
Answers to these questions usually give us a clearer picture of “why” we actually want to do something. When a particular plan passes all these questions, we are left with nothing else to do but pray. Wouldn’t want to do something without His approval, would we ;)? And prayer works.
Some of the most important decisions in our life were made after a whole lot of prayer. Getting married, finding a house, quitting my job, finding a school for our kids…Â We just knew it was the right decision to make. I believe that when we go to God, and respectfully ask for His guidance, He will guide us.
Have we had times of uncertainty, unsure of God’s will in our lives? Yes, of course! But we have never regretted waiting on God for an answer. And our God does not disappoint. “He has made every thing beautiful in his time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
Have we wanted to do things our way, without God’s counsel? Absolutely! At times we have told Him how badly we wanted something, and struggled to conclude with the words “yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42). But God has not failed us yet. For He is able “to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20).
If you are at crossroads, take your time. Use whichever decision making technique works for you. Analyze, be logical, be practical… and don’t forget to pray! God who knows you best, knows what’s best for you!
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