Inspiration

Photo Credit: Gilles Chiroleu

Waiting isn’t a lot of fun, is it?! It gets on my nerves, when I have to wait for any extended period of time. And I don’t spare my family, either. I get pretty worked up when my boys are dilly-dallying, taking their own sweet time, with something that I need to be done immediately.

For all my distaste of waiting, I have been doing just that. I’ve been waiting on God to show me where I need to go next, what I need to do with my life. After some of my own dreams crashed and burned, I decided to wait for God’s dream for my life. I assumed that God would want to change my life’s direction as my sons grow older.

Well, it’s been a whole month since my sons joined kindergarten, which means I have a solid chunk of 4 free hours in the mornings. Maybe, not actually free – I’ve set up an effective routine to make the best use of that time. And yet I wanted to do something productive, maybe even take up a part-time job or a voluntary position somewhere.

My only hesitation was that I wasn’t sure what God had in mind for me. So, I started praying, of course. Praying that God would show me what I needed to do in my life. And surprise of surprises, He gave me His Word – except that it wasn’t exactly what I was looking for… {is it ever?!}

Every where I turned, every book I read, every blog I skimmed through, even through the Proverbs 31 Bible study; He said…

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You’d think I would have known that by now, after blogging about the exact same verse here and here. I realized that I was to continue my stay-at-home jig for a little while longer {months, years, decades maybe?!} serving my husband and praying for my sons… and keeping our home as unto the Lord.

I thought I’d share with you a few things I learnt, while I was waiting on God.

1. Waiting on God means praying… a LOT!
2. If possible, fast and pray.
3. Spend a lot of time in God’s presence, poring over His Word {That’s how He usually talks to us}.
4. Keep an open mind for anything God may be trying to tell you.
5. Waiting on God reiterates how much you trust in Him, and God does NOT disappoint those who trust in Him.

We are all in different seasons of waiting on God. You maybe waiting on Him for a job, a life purpose, a life partner, a promotion, a house, a child, a financial breakthrough, a marriage… Keep at it. Don’t give up. When you wait to know God’s will for you, He values the trust you’ve placed in Him – and He will answer you. And while you wait, He will give you to the strength to carry on.

“But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)

Care to share your experience of waiting on God?

I sighed as I set the alarm on my phone for 4:15 AM. I had to be up early the following morning to pick my mother up from the railway station. After a little consideration, I set the alarm on my husband’s phone as well, and kept both the phones far out of my reach {I’m an expert at switching off the alarm and going back to sleep… and then wondering why it never rang in the first place :D}.

When my alarm rang the next morning, I could barely even open my eyes. I hurriedly switched it off and reached out to switch off my husband’s phone as well. I closed my eyes for just a quick second and considered my options…

• I could snooze for just a few minutes and risk oversleeping.
• I could force myself to wake up, right away.

I sighed and forced myself up to a sitting position. Through bleary eyes, I could make out the dark figures of my family, blissfully asleep. I made the difficult, but right choice. I got right out of bed, freshened up and rushed off to the railway station.

On my one hour ride to the station (and another one hour wait for the train), I pondered the little choice I made, so early in the morning. And I realized, we all make choices, everyday… several choices, too many to count, in fact… Subtle choices, we don’t even realize we make. Right from the second our alarms beep in the mornings…

Do we choose to wake up? Or do we choose to hit the snooze button?

Do we choose to open our Bibles? Or do we postpone it, in favor of checking our email (or Facebook)?

Do we choose to prepare healthy meals for our family? Or opt for something more convenient?

I asked myself some hard questions…

Do I take extra time to cuddle up with my sons when they wake up? Or do I hastily shake them awake and rush them off to school?

Do I choose to read a hundred blog posts? Or do I choose to act on just one good post I’ve read?

Do I choose to read a book with the kids? Or do I conveniently pop in a DVD to entertain them?

Do I spend time playing with my sons? Or do I just watch them play, when I’m distracted with something trivial?

Do I choose to serve my husband when he returns home after a long day’s work? Or do I expect him to take care of himself?

When I need a snack, do I reach for the fruit basket? Or the cookie jar?

Do I snap in irritation at my sons’ disobedience? Or do I patiently try to figure out why they are acting that way?

Do I dread doing the dishes? Or am I thankful that my family had a full meal?

Do I choose to let a difficult day get the better of me? Or do I give thanks through the dark clouds and look for the silver lining?

Do I murmur and complain about my situation? Or am I glad that I’m exactly where God wants me to be?

Add all these up, and in a lifetime we are faced with a million little choices. Do we choose to make the right ones?

Choices that lead to joy and peace in the family. Choices that glorify God. Choices that we won’t regret making, later in the day (or life)… {I wish I had woken up earlier… I wish I had read to my kids today… I wish I wasn’t so grumpy all day… I wish I had listened to my husband… I wish I had been more patient…} Any of that sound familiar? 🙂

Today, I am choosing to open my eyes and recognize the choices as they come my way. I choose joy, peace, happiness, love, hope and everything else good and positive. I choose to make the right choices, today!

“… therefore choose life …” (Deuteronomy 30:19)

Photo Credit

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If your tears have soaked many a pillow,
You wake up each morning with red-rimmed eyes.
If you’re waiting, pleading, wondering “Why?”,
Your weary cries seem to hit a blank wall.

Here’s a reminder that God is working a thousand things backstage. A thousand things we may not yet comprehend.

Be assured in His promise that He’s got good plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11). For weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning (Psalm 30:5b).

If you can’t view the video below, click here.

Lyrics:

You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep,
You’re gonna soak the pillow for many weeks,
You’re gonna cry,
Why? Why me?

But in spite of the ache that doesn’t go away,
You’ll be sharing your story one rainy day,
And at the next table somebody catches your words,
He hears a truth that he’s never heard.

He takes it back to the marriage he’d given up on,
Hands it down to his daughter who writes it into song.

You didn’t know…

A thousand things are happening in this one thing,
Like a thousand fields nourished by a single drop of rain,
So honey, wrap yourself in promise,
While you wait the morning light.

A thousand things are happening tonight!

You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep,
‘Cause for the moment all that you can see,
Is what you’ve lost, lost,
Why me?

But in the midst of the most exquisite pain,
You’re drawn into a peace that you cannot explain,
And the praises you sing of a sovereign God,
Reach the girl whose last hope is gone.

She never thought there was purpose in anything here,
Now the seed has been planted and it’s taking root there.

You didn’t know…

A thousand things are happening in this one thing,
Like a thousand fields nourished by a single drop of rain,
So honey, wrap yourself in promise,
while you wait the morning light.

A thousand things are happening tonight!

You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep,
A thousand miracles you’ll have to wait and see…

Lyrics Courtesy: Christa Wells Music

It was beautiful – this castle I built in the air.
The architecture magnificent; the detailing intricate.
It was everything I wanted – and everything I couldn’t have.
It was my deepest desire, my highest hope;
My desperate longing, but never to be.

I’m sure at some point in life, you’ve heard (or read) the words “You can be anything you want to be” or “You can do anything you want to do”. But the harsh reality is that life doesn’t always work that way.

When I was 13, I decided I wanted to become a software engineer. That was my dream. Everything I did, was directed towards achieving that dream. I got my Masters degree in Software Engineering and proceeded to work in a reputed IT company. I was officially a software engineer – I was at the steps leading to my castle. Except that my castle no longer existed – in its place lay a pile of ruins.

You see, my dream job did not give me the satisfaction I sought. I constantly battled with God as to why He put my brain & my heart in the same body. Did that sound weird to you? Let me explain… While my logical-thinking, problem-solving brain was at its best in an IT job, my heart longed to do something that would truly make a difference in somebody’s life.

The castle I had been building in the air for 10 years had crashed. As I gazed at the heap of ruins before me, I realized that maybe MY plans were not the best ones after all… I was reminded of my life verse, the first verse in the Bible I actually claimed for myself when I was 13.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

It was the latter half of the year 2006, when I took a week off work and pondered about my future. Little did I know that within a year, God would turn my life right side up and make HIS plans for me a reality.

It has been 3 years since I gave up my job. Truth be told, I wasn’t ready to give it up at that time. I craved the independence, financial security, and comfortable lifestyle that my job in the corporate world had provided. I rebelled even after I knew that it was God’s plan for me to stay at home in this season of our kids’ lives.

After extending my leave for more than a year, I finally let go of my job and trusted God and my husband for provision and security. It was a humbling experience, and it took me several months to come to terms with it. I am now unemployed, but not jobless! My husband, kids & my home are my full-time occupation now – and I have finally found the job satisfaction I always craved.

God found a place for me in the tiniest corner of the internet, where He would be able to use my mind & my heart for His glory. It humbles me every time one of you stop by to tell me that you read my blog. I am blessed to be clay in my Potter’s Hands. And if this imperfect, cracked clay pot could share a drop of Living Water with another thirsty soul – I have done the job my Potter requires of me.

If you are going through a time in your life, when your castle has crashed… Your dreams lie shattered, and your hopes have crash landed… God reminds you…

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

God has something greater in store for you. Trust me, it’s the story of my life! I know from personal experience that He “…is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” (Ephesians 3:20)

Photo by Federico Burgalassi on Unsplash

As I was reading the book “Tell Your Time” last week, I came across a bunch of questions that unsettled me…

“How do you want to be known and remembered? What kind of legacy do you want to leave?” 

My maternal uncle passed away last week and the legacy he left behind was his music. For almost two decades, he played his keyboard and coached the choir in his local church. He will always be remembered for using his talent to glorify God. He had earlier recorded several cassettes of himself singing various hymns; his son played those tapes over the sound system during the funeral. When people came by to pay their last respects, they heard these comforting words over the speaker…

All the way my Savior leads me,
Oh, the fullness of His love!
Perfect rest to me is promised
In my Father’s house above.
When my spirit, clothed immortal,
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages:
Jesus led me all the way;

…which brings me back to the purpose of today’s blog post. It didn’t take me long to asked myself, “What will people remember me for, when I die?“. Will they think of me as…

A software engineer? Maybe.
A good student? Probably.
A blogger? Definitely.
Mother of triplets? Most definitely.

But that is hardly enough. What difference am I making in the lives of those around me? What memories will I leave behind? After much pondering, I came up with a list (yes, I love lists :)).

I want to be known as a woman who:

1. Loved God above all else.
2. Served her husband with respect.
3. Led her sons to Christ by example.

I wonder at times if this list is too audacious. But then I realize, it isn’t – it all comes down to the basics. Living out my faith in the struggles of everyday life. Joyfully meeting my husband’s needs. Learning to be a good example to my kids. In the end, this is what it comes down to. I leave you now, with the same words that got me thinking…

“How do you want to be known and remembered? What kind of legacy do you want to leave?” 

I have never been fond of making decisions. I don’t mind the responsibility of having to make a decision, but I have always been terrified that I might make a wrong choice and mess up my life. Oh, I am not talking about which flavor of ice cream to choose… But, rather in terms of… Whom should I marry? Should I go back to work? What kind of education do we want our kids to have?

I’ve been there all too often. Over the years, I have found myself following a pattern for every decision I make and it seems to be quite effective. The only tools you will need are a notepad, pen and a sound, unbiased mind! 🙂

My first ever decision making method – one I started used when I was 13 {yes, I had to make very important decisions at 13 ;)} was the pros and cons list. It was simple and straightforward and it served the purpose at that time. Here’s how I did it back then…

1. On a piece of paper, write down all the pros in one column and the cons in another.
2. If the pros outweigh the cons, you are good to go.
3. However, if the cons outweigh the pros, then look at each item on the cons list individually.
4. Ask questions like… Does it really matter to me? Is there a work around?
5. As these questions are answered, you might be able to strike a few items off the cons list.
6. Review the list again, and if the cons still outweigh the pros, then you may have to ditch the plan.
7. If the pros outweigh the cons, go for it!

This method worked pretty well for me all through my teens and early twenties. And then I got married, had triplets and life got a whole lot more complicated… I soon realized decisions no longer revolved around “do the pros outweigh the cons”. There were several other factors to consider when making a decision. Over the years my husband and I have asked ourselves some tough questions when it came to making decisions for ourselves or for our family.

1. Do I really want to do it?
2. Is it going to benefit anybody else beside me?
3. If I go ahead with it, will I be at peace?
4. If I say “No”, will I regret it later?
5. Do I want to do it just because of the financial benefit ?
6. Will it deprive me of my time with God and my family?
7. Is it really worth the extra time and effort?
8. Am I doing it to please someone else?
9. What does my spouse feel about it?
10. Is it in line with the principles I stand by?

Answers to these questions usually give us a clearer picture of “why” we actually want to do something. When a particular plan passes all these questions, we are left with nothing else to do but pray. Wouldn’t want to do something without His approval, would we ;)? And prayer works.

Some of the most important decisions in our life were made after a whole lot of prayer. Getting married, finding a house, quitting my job, finding a school for our kids… We just knew it was the right decision to make. I believe that when we go to God, and respectfully ask for His guidance, He will guide us.

Have we had times of uncertainty, unsure of God’s will in our lives? Yes, of course! But we have never regretted waiting on God for an answer. And our God does not disappoint. “He has made every thing beautiful in his time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

Have we wanted to do things our way, without God’s counsel? Absolutely! At times we have told Him how badly we wanted something, and struggled to conclude with the words “yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42). But God has not failed us yet. For He is able “to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20).

If you are at crossroads, take your time. Use whichever decision making technique works for you. Analyze, be logical, be practical… and don’t forget to pray! God who knows you best, knows what’s best for you!