The first time I heard the term “Terrible Twos” was when my husband prayed for our sons on their 2nd birthday. I turned to Wikipedia for clarification, and here’s what I found…

Terrible twos may refer to:

A child development stage which normally occurs around the age of two (but can start earlier) and consists of toddlers often saying no and throwing temper tantrums

My husband had figured the coming year would be challenging for us as three toddlers simultaneously turned two. And he prayed for grace and strength for us as parents. Wise man!

I had no clue what I was getting in to! Age 2 (and 3) were by far the most physically & emotionally challenging years for me as a mother. {Apparently, the terrible twos spill over into the terrifying threes!!!} The only way I made it through most days, was prayer… loads of prayer. The kind that you whisper amid tears, and scream amid tantrums… 🙂

Another thing that helped, was to let the boys just be boys. They wanted to run and shout, scream and jump, bang stuff and make a huge mess. As an only child to my parents, it was extremely hard for me to adjust to my boys’ behavior. But thankfully my husband was a bit more experienced in this department.

We let them jump from the couch / table / bed onto pillows and mattresses laid on the floor.

We let them climb windows (with a couch underneath it for a softer landing if they did fall).

And we let them make a mess.

The last one was something I resisted with ALL my heart. I did NOT want to clean up 3 boys (and clean up after them) in the middle of the day! Again, I had to come to terms with it…

The boys were gifted a pack of finger paints and they were intent on using it. I kept trying to dissuade them until their father returned home. But they wouldn’t be put off! I made a hasty phone call to my husband to check how far away from home he was, and on his insistence, I let the boys have the paints.

I gave them papers to paint on, but they obviously felt the walls were a bigger, better canvas. I cringed at first. Then I stood back and let them be. Oh what a mess they had made!

That mess seemed to depict exactly the stage of life I was in. Tired, exhausted, cranky (me & the kids), worn out and messy. Thankfully, the sons were washable (and surprisingly, so were the walls!) And guess what… so was that part of my life.

I look back at that messy time with fond memories now. It definitely wasn’t easy to go through it then, but God has taught me a lot through that phase. He taught me patience, self-control, kindness, unconditional love, and self-sacrifice. Lessons I wouldn’t have learnt otherwise. I have grown through the mess… and so will you.

If you have a toddler or two (or three) at home, believe me when I tell you, I understand what you are going through. Hang in there, sweet Mama. This too shall pass away!

The tantrums will cease.

They will be potty-trained.

They will be more open to correction.

They will be OK… and so will you!

You will come out of this phase – unscathed, older, wiser.

Until then… embrace the mess… and pray.

Definitely pray!

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It’s been a blazing summer here in South India, with our boys being holed up at home during the day. I don’t let them go out when it’s too hot outside, and I work during the day, so they’re getting quite adept at keeping themselves occupied.

However, I know these 2 months of having my boys at home are precious, and I don’t want to waste the days away. Over the past two weeks, my husband and I have managed to help the kids implement 2 good habits.

• Morning Routine – My husband trained the boys to follow a sequence of tasks as soon as they wake up. This includes a time of reading their Bibles and praying, after which they are free to do whatever they please.
• Minimal Screen Time – The kids do get to watch TV and play on the iPad, but that time is restricted and will be revoked if they don’t behave well that day.

Well, that brings me back to how I want to be intentional with my boys this summer. I created a summer bucket list for myself – things I want to do with my family this summer. Some of them are fun, and some educational, but all of them are focused on me having quality time with the kids.

My Summer Bucket List:

1. Help the boys stick to their morning routine.

2. Teach them to tie their shoe laces.

3. Spend one-on-one time with each of them every day.

4. Watch a movie together as a family.

5. Attend a worship concert at church. The last one I attended with the sons (my husband was on stage) was a disaster. {The concert itself was awesome, but the boys took turns throwing tantrums and I was exhausted by the end of the night!}

6. Work on improving the kids’ handwriting.

7. Get the kids to read something everyday.

8. Get on the floor and play with them a couple of times a week.

9. Ensure the kids don’t forget their basic Hindi & Mathematics.

10. Send the boys to Vacation Bible School at church (not sure if the logistics will work in our favor, but we’re determined to try).

I’m aiming to strike off as much as I possibly can from this list. When June rolls around, I don’t want to regret not spending enough time with the boys during the summer. That is my motivation!

Are your kids home on holidays? Why don’t you create your own bucket list? I’m sure it will help you be more intentional about spending time with your children.

It was one of those days. Unreasonable temper tantrums and rough boy fights had left this mother of triplets physically and emotionally drained.  Stepping on a stray Lego just about did it for me and I collapsed into a blubbery mess of tears. With harsh words and a little-more-than-necessary force, I pretty much dumped them in bed and heaved a huge sigh of relief when the boys were finally down for a nap. And then I felt it – the crushing weight of guilt as it threatened to engulf me.

If only I hadn’t yelled at them…
If only I had hugged them, instead of lecturing them…
If only I had been more patient with them…
If only I had remembered to speak their love language…

As I watched my boys sleeping, they looked more like little angels than the stubborn, mischievous trio I had struggled with, just that morning. The feeling of unworthiness washed over me. God had given me the responsibility to raise my boys right, and I had failed.

Tears streamed down my face as I recounted all the mistakes I had made from the moment they woke up that morning. When my mind finally quietened down, I felt a little nudge. A soft whisper reminded me that God hadn’t given me my sons because I was worthy. He already knew I would struggle, that in my weakness I would make mistakes. I could never be a perfect mother to my sons.

But…

He is perfect; He is more than enough for them.

Through my imperfections, He wants me to show them Jesus.

He lets them rock my world, so I continually turn to Christ – my solid rock.

He shows me that without His grace, all my efforts are in vain.

As I try to mold their character, God reveals to me my own weaknesses. As I try my best to correct their behavior, He reminds me that it’s their hearts that truly matter. And when I run to Him in tears, afraid that I’ve messed up yet again; He offers me forgiveness, grace and wisdom to do better tomorrow.

I hear their light breathing, and I’m once again grateful they’re alive. I snuggle up in their midst, glad to have their arms and legs sprawled around me. I wipe away a stray tear and thank God for these three boys. These rambunctious miracles, these bundles of limitless energy have drawn me closer to God.  From the moment God gave them life, they have been a constant reminder of Someone who cares for them much more than I ever could.

And when I feel I’ve messed up, He reminds me that He’s still watching over them. He will not let them down, in spite of my weakness – because He loves them more.

* Originally written in September 2012 as a guest post for The MOB Society.