Decision Making 101

I have never been fond of making decisions. I don’t mind the responsibility of having to make a decision, but I have always been terrified that I might make a wrong choice and mess up my life. Oh, I am not talking about which flavor of ice cream to choose… But, rather in terms of… Whom should I marry? Should I go back to work? What kind of education do we want our kids to have?

I’ve been there all too often. Over the years, I have found myself following a pattern for every decision I make and it seems to be quite effective. The only tools you will need are a notepad, pen and a sound, unbiased mind! 🙂

My first ever decision making method – one I started used when I was 13 {yes, I had to make very important decisions at 13 ;)} was the pros and cons list. It was simple and straightforward and it served the purpose at that time. Here’s how I did it back then…

  1. On a piece of paper, write down all the pros in one column and the cons in another.
  2. If the pros outweigh the cons, you are good to go.
  3. However, if the cons outweigh the pros, then look at each item on the cons list individually.
  4. Ask questions like… Does it really matter to me? Is there a work around?
  5. As these questions are answered, you might be able to strike a few items off the cons list.
  6. Review the list again, and if the cons still outweigh the pros, then you may have to ditch the plan.
  7. If the pros outweigh the cons, go for it!

This method worked pretty well for me all through my teens and early twenties. And then I got married, had triplets and life got a whole lot more complicated… I soon realized decisions no longer revolved around “do the pros outweigh the cons”. There were several other factors to consider when making a decision. Over the years my husband and I have asked ourselves some tough questions when it came to making decisions for ourselves or for our family.

  1. Do I really want to do it?
  2. Is it going to benefit anybody else beside me?
  3. If I go ahead with it, will I be at peace?
  4. If I say “No”, will I regret it later?
  5. Do I want to do it just because of the financial benefit ?
  6. Will it deprive me of my time with God and my family?
  7. Is it really worth the extra time and effort?
  8. Am I doing it to please someone else?
  9. What does my spouse feel about it?
  10. Is it in line with the principles I stand by?

Answers to these questions usually give us a clearer picture of “why” we actually want to do something. When a particular plan passes all these questions, we are left with nothing else to do but pray. Wouldn’t want to do something without His approval, would we ;)? And prayer works.

Some of the most important decisions in our life were made after a whole lot of prayer. Getting married, finding a house, quitting my job, finding a school for our kids… We just knew it was the right decision to make. I believe that when we go to God, and respectfully ask for His guidance, He will guide us.

Have we had times of uncertainty, unsure of God’s will in our lives? Yes, of course! But we have never regretted waiting on God for an answer. And our God does not disappoint. “He has made every thing beautiful in his time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

Have we wanted to do things our way, without God’s counsel? Absolutely! At times we have told Him how badly we wanted something, and struggled to conclude with the words “yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42). But God has not failed us yet. For He is able “to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20).

If you are at crossroads, take your time. Use whichever decision making technique works for you. Analyze, be logical, be practical… and don’t forget to pray! God who knows you best, knows what’s best for you!

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Monthly Goals: February

For the past couple of years, I have been perfectly content with my “Daily To-Do List”. Striking off everything on that list was the only goal I consciously worked towards. But eventually, things started falling through the cracks and several things I wanted to do, never got done. I realized I needed to set specific time-bound targets that I could deliberately work towards.

After reading this article on goal setting by Money Saving Mom, I decided to buckle up and get started. I tried setting a bunch of goals for the month of January – simple ones, just to test the waters. And I am pleased to say, it went pretty well.

My goals for January were:

  1. Stay up to date on the Good Morning Girls Ephesians Bible Study. — Done
  2. Teach the kids to write the alphabets (A-Q). — Done
  3. Teach the kids to recite Psalm 23:1-2. — Done
  4. Read The Good Wife’s Guide. — Done

Now that I have achieved the goals for January, I finally have enough gumption to plot out February’s goals.

My goals for the month of February are:

  1. Stay up to date on the Good Morning Girls Ephesians Bible Study.
  2. Teach the kids to write the alphabets (R-Z) and numbers (1-9).
  3. Teach the kids to recite Psalm 23:3.
  4. Take pictures of my husband with our kids.
  5. Take a CD backup of all the photos on our laptop.
  6. Read Tell Your Time and A Reluctant Queen.

I like making lists. I really do. So, at the beginning of the month, I write down what I want to accomplish by the end of the month. It empties my brain and keeps me sane. (Hey, that rhymed!). And when I do get to strike off a completed item from my list… Oh, the joy! 😀

These monthly goals remind me that I have to work towards them every day. I have to teach the kids their memory verse at least once a day if I want them to memorize it by the end of the month. If I want to complete a book, I have to read at least a chapter a day.

Goals also keep me from procrastination. We were supposed to have taken a CD backup of our photos way back in 2011 {insert sheepish grin}. Now, that it is on my list of goals for February, I will finally get to it. As always, blogging about these goals keeps me accountable.

I am sure those of you who have a paying job do have work related goals. But how do you keep track of your personal or family goals? Does goal setting help you get things done? I would truly appreciate it if you would share your opinions in the comments section below.

This post is linked to the following blogs:

A-Wise-Woman-Builds-Her-Home

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A Habit A Month: February

The decision to work on developing just one habit each month, is definitely a step in the right direction. Ever since I chose to work on the habit of positive speech last month, I have become more conscious of every negative word I say. That, to me looks like progress – certainly a good start.

Now that positive speech is slowly (but surely) becoming a habit, I am ready to move on. The next habit I want to undertake is a biggie. But it’s something I really need to work on intentionally – otherwise, I just seem to be going nowhere. During the month of February, I will be working on SELF CONTROL!

Yikes! To tell you the truth, I am a bit apprehensive about this one. I have long struggled with self control in three areas of my life…

  • Food – need i say more ;).
  • Internet – I spend a considerable chunk of unproductive time on Facebook & other blogs (not so good when you have 97 more things on you To-Do list).
  • My Mouth – Sometimes, I say things I don’t actually mean; without taking a second or two to process the words. God help my husband 🙂 LOL!

A verse I came across recently on Peak 313 Fitness jolted me out of my comfort zone.

“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” (Proverbs 25:28)

Well, I’m not sure I want to be like a city without walls – exposed and without protection. It matters that I should be able to control myself – and not just act based on my every whim and fancy. I want to regain control over my mind & my body. I do not want to let my emotions and impulses dominate me. So, yes… A big one – self control in 3 specific areas of my life. I’m praying that with God’s help, I will be able to master this one.

If you like this idea, why don’t you take this up as a challenge? Focus on just one area in your life that needs an overhaul and make it the habit you want to develop this month. It could be as simple as waking up early or spending time with God everyday. This would be an opportunity for you to actually take a step forward and work on that one good habit you have always wanted to develop. Or kick that one bad habit that has always been nagging your conscience. Are you up for it? Who’s with me?

This post is linked to the following blogs:

These Five of MineGrowing HomeA-Wise-Woman-Builds-Her-Home

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When They Stopped Breathing ~ Jon

This is the final post in the 3-part blog series “When They Stopped Breathing“. Click here to read all the posts in this series. I pray God will use our testimony to encourage you in your situation. Be blessed!

January 29, 2011. Our triplets were 3 year old rambunctious boys – sweethearts who played rough. It was a Saturday and we were all at home. Jon had a bad cold, but he was cheerful and played with his brothers, nevertheless.

All 3 boys were sitting on the frame of our front door. At one point, Jason and Judah got up and looked behind them to see Jon collapsed on the floor. It took my husband a few seconds to figure out what Jon was doing on the floor. When he realized Jon had collapsed, he cried out to me and rushed to pick him up.

We had no idea what had caused him to collapse. He was not moving at all, although his eyes were still open. We splashed cold water on his face, but there was no response. We called out to him and shook him vigorously, all the while desperately crying out to God.

Seconds later, Jon closed his eyes and stopped breathing. I rushed to our neighbor and frantically explained that we needed a ride to the hospital. Our good neighbor hurriedly started his scooter and my husband held Jon close and got on. With all the commotion, a couple of neighbors came home to offer me their support.

I was in tears. I feared that Jon might not come back home alive. I realized I was in a helpless situation yet again. In my desperation, I cried out to God, pleading with Him for Jon’s life. I urged Jason and Judah to pray for their brother, and they gladly agreed. The three of us prayed – although I doubt Jason and Judah understood the magnanimity of the situation. All they knew was that “Jon fell down near the door, so Dada took him to the hospital.”

After about half an hour, my husband called from the hospital and recounted what had happened. As soon as my husband got on the scooter, he resumed trying to revive Jon. As a last resort, my husband breathed into Jon’s mouth. And Jon opened his eyes and started breathing. All glory to God alone! At the hospital, the doctors suspected a febrile seizure and treated him accordingly. I can’t explain the relief I felt when my husband’s call assured me that Jon was alive and well.

I assured my neighbors that Jon had recovered and waited for them to leave. When we were alone again, I dropped onto my knees and thanked God for Jon’s life. When my husband brought Jon back home, tears were still threatening to break out. Together, we thanked God for bringing our son back home alive.

This was by far the most scariest episode of all. One minute Jon was playing, and the next, he wasn’t breathing. It took us several months to get over what happened. We were anxious every time one of the sons had a slight fever or even a cold. I must admit, it has been a year, but anxiety over their lives still gets a hold on me at times. And my husband has to remind me that “God has not given us a spirit of fear” (2 Timothy 1:7).

Through these trials and tests of our faith, our God has remained faithful. When we faltered and feared the worst, God gave us His best. When I feared that my husband would be bringing back a dead son, God gave him life and brought him back home alive. I must say I am ashamed at my lack of faith when staring death in the face. I pray that God would increase my faith and help me bear in mind that He has indeed conquered death. Thank you Jesus, for Jon’s life!

“In my distress I cried unto the LORD, and he heard me.” (Psalm 120:1)

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4)

Other posts in this series:

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When They Stopped Breathing ~ Jason

This is the second post in the 3-part blog series “When They Stopped Breathing“. Click here to read the first post in this series. I pray God will use our testimony to encourage you in your situation. Be blessed!

It was January 2009 – exactly a year since our boys left the NICU. It had been a rough week. Jon had developed a fever that took 3 days to subside. Needless to say, Jason soon contracted it from him. It was late evening when we realized that Jason’s temperature wasn’t going down in spite of the medication. My husband took him to the hospital, and a doctor prescribed him a stronger syrup.

We started Jason on the new medicine and let him nap a little. My husband was awake to keep an eye on him. At 2AM, my husband shook me awake and shared his shocking observation. Jason wasn’t responding to any sound. My husband explained that until then, Jason had been awake – playing and responding to my husband’s instructions. Simple things like “clap you hands” or “say bye-bye”. And then all of a sudden, he stopped responding.

We tried talking to him, clapping our hands, making any noise we could to get his attention – but he wouldn’t respond. Our baby was looking at us but not responding to any of the sounds we were making. We prayed. It was a desperate prayer, for we did not know what else to do.

His fever was starting to rise, and although it wasn’t time for the next dose, we gave him his fever medicine. We washed his face and wet his body as well. Eventually his fever went down and he fell asleep. Urging my husband to get some sleep, I stayed awake with Jason – constantly checking his temperature and sponging him with water. I was afraid that if I fell asleep, something awful would happen to him.

Early in the morning, I did indeed fall asleep. I had set the alarm to wake me up in an hour, so I could check on Jason. But before the alarm went off, my husband shook me awake. Jason was having convulsions. We splashed water on him and when it didn’t stop, my husband rushed him to the nearest hospital.

I had to stay behind with Jon and Judah who were still sleeping. It was a dreadful morning. In my helpless state, all I could do was pray. I feared brain damage and I feared for Jason’s life. It took them almost an hour to return back home. At the hospital, the doctors had given Jason a pill to control his seizures. When my husband handed Jason over to me, his body was limp. He had absolutely no energy left in him. Within minutes, Jason brought out the tablet that the doctors had given him and he fell into a deep sleep.

We were helpless and terrified. We prayed, trusting God for Jason’s life. We prayed that his brain functions would be normal and that he would respond to us again. That’s when God spoke to our hearts – He assured us that Jason would be fine. We called a few people we knew, who could support us in prayer. While Jason was sleeping, one of the pastors from our church came home and prayed with us.

Jason woke up after a few hours, and he was perfectly fine. He responded to our voices and to other sounds around him. His fever disappeared (and didn’t return for at least a month). To us, that was a miracle – considering that he brought out the medicine he was given at the hospital.

God had saved yet another life in our family and through it, strengthened our faith. Our faith in Him may have faltered when fear gripped our hearts, but God was faithful. He preserved Jason’s life… again! Jason is now an intelligent and energetic 4 year old – a living, breathing testimony of God’s unfailing grace. Thank you Jesus, for Jason’s life!

“…He that keepeth thee will not slumber. Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is thy keeper…” (Psalm 121:3-5)

Other posts in this series:

When They Stopped Breathing ~ Jason Read More »

When They Stopped Breathing ~ Judah

Today, we begin a series titled “When They Stopped Breathing“. It is the story of how each of our sons stopped breathing… And how God gave them back their life! I will be re-telling the story in parts – 3 blog posts spread over this week. I pray God will use our testimony to encourage you in your situation. Be blessed!

January 29, 2008. Our boys were 50 days old and weighed 1.7 kilograms each. Their doctor declared them healthy enough to be discharged from the hospital. It was the moment we had been waiting for… After 50 days we could finally take our babies home :)!

We had their new clothes and blankets all picked out for them to go home in. My husband got the car washed & and the interiors vacuumed. We hired a driver to drive us back home in our car. My parents were with us to lend an extra hand. We were all pumped up and ready to go.

Something we didn’t foresee was discrepancies in the hospital bill that took the entire day to settle. By the time we had settled the bill, it was late evening. Needless to say, we were exhausted from all the packing and caring for 3 babies. I had no energy left to dress the babies up in their new clothes or even wrap them up in the blankets we had chosen to take them home in. We just wanted to be back home.

It must have been around 8 in the night when my dad & my husband left the room in order to load our things in the car. My mother and I were still in the hospital room with our 3 babies. The nurse had just administered polio drops, the babies were done with their feeds and they were sleeping.

All 3 babies were sleeping side by side on the sterile white sheets of the hospital bed. All seemed well at that time, but in a few minutes the stillness in the room was shattered. Something did not seemed right with Judah. His eyes were open and they had a vacant look in them. I rushed to his side and found his chest heaving… struggling to breathe. My baby couldn’t breathe.

Involuntarily, I started praying. As I tried to revive him, my mother rushed to the nurses station that was right outside our door. A nurse ran in, took Judah from my arms and hurried out. I was in tears, pleading with God for his life. I could not follow the nurse as Jason & Jon were still asleep in the room. I was helpless… All I could do was pray.

Thankfully, just moments later, my husband and my dad returned and my mother quickly briefed them. My husband took one look at my tear-stained face and rushed out to find Judah and my dad followed him. A few moments later they returned with the assurance that the nurses were able to revive Judah and that a doctor was currently examining him.

Relief flooded my heart. With a burst of praise, we thanked God for the life He had given Judah… again… God who gave him life, made him breathe… again…

The doctor suspected that the polio drops might have triggered some allergy. But thankfully, they said Judah was stable and could go home as planned. I held my baby boy close throughout the ride home.

It was a night we will never forget. One of many that have left us helpless and scared, but totally dependent on God alone. Thank you Jesus, for Judah’s life!

“Bless the LORD, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits.” (Psalm 103:1,2)

Other posts in this series:

When They Stopped Breathing ~ Judah Read More »

A Habit A Month: January Update

We’re nearing the end of January and I thought I’d post an update on how I’ve fared on developing the habit of positive speech. I learnt a lot on the subject, that’s for sure!

Here are a few things I discovered this month:

  1. No matter how hard I try, I can’t do it on my own. Asking for God’s help was a step in the right direction.
  2. You need somebody’s support. I had my husband‘s. At times when he pointed out my negative outlook, I would rephrase it with a positive twist. That’s good, right? 😉
  3. In order to speak positive words, I needed to T.H.I.N.K before I speak.
  4. It takes a lot of effort to look at a difficult situation and find something to be thankful about.
  5. When I fell sick this month, it was a challenge to admit I wasn’t feeling well without being negative about it.

It took a while, but I started realizing I had said something negative as soon as the words were out of my mouth. The next step was to stop the negative thought in my head before my mouth could get a hold of it. That was the difficult part – and something I am consciously working on till date. But I must say, I’m getting better at it :).

To Do: Maintain a gratitude journal

To Read: A Holy Experience

To Ponder:

“The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45)

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The Good Wife’s Guide: eBook Review

Darlene Schacht, New York Times Best-Selling Author and Blogger at Time-Warp Wife has released her new eBook “The Good Wife’s Guide – Embracing Your Role as a Help Meet“. When Darlene offered bloggers a chance to review her book, I jumped at the opportunity and I wasn’t disappointed… I love, Love, LOVE this book.

To be honest, I long fought against the idea of being a submissive wife. It took several months (and some very helpful blogs) for God to work in my heart – to reveal just how important my role as my husband’s helper was. I’d have to say, the original wife’s handbook is indeed the Bible and Darlene does not disagree. In The Good Wife’s Guide, Darlene has used scripture to inspire women to joyfully serve as wives, mothers and keepers of our homes. She writes from her own experience – and 23 years as a wife is a LOT of experience :).

If you are a wife, mother, young bride or looking to get married, this book will give you a wealth of information on:

  • Setting priorities – Faith first & Family second.
  • Planning ahead and getting things done early.
  • Welcoming your husband when he comes home from work.
  • Making small sacrifices for your family with a willing heart.
  • Biblical submission.
  • Being faithful stewards of our time & possessions.
  • Handling conflict in marriage.
  • Keeping our home clean and organized.

And here are some quotes from the book that struck home:

“Everything that I present to my family is a reflection of my heart. I can either show them that I value them by giving of myself with joy, or I can do it begrudgingly because it’s something that has to be done.”

“Busy children trump an immaculate house any day of the week… Things can be replaced, but nothing can replace the feeling of “home” that one gets when a house is bustling with children.”

“Submission doesn’t mean that we’re weak-minded, feeble, or frail. It means that we’re empowered by choice, and that we’re dedicated to esteeming others higher than ourselves.”

I intended to read this book over a period of 3 days… but I was so engrossed, I finished it in 2 hours while my sons were napping today! The eBook is filled to the brim with biblical wisdom – and practical tips to make them work in our daily lives. I have highlighted several passages in the book that I will be revisiting – just to remind myself of my primary ministry as a help meet & keeper of my home.

Click here for more details on The Good Wife’s Guide. And while you are at it, visit a while at Time-Warp Wife – it is a treasure trove of resources for the Christian woman, wife & mother.

Here are some more helpful links:

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Adopted!

I browsed through the internet to find a perfect definition for the word “Adoption” – something simple, yet meaningful, that I could use in this post. I came up with several definitions and it blew my mind just thinking of how profound the word is. Here are a just a few statements I found from Wikipedia, Merriam-Webster Dictionary & dictionary.reference.com.

  • To choose or take as one’s own.
  • Make one’s own by selection.
  • To take by choice into a relationship.
  • The act of accepting with approval.
  • Adoption is intended to effect a permanent change in status.

With these statements in mind, would you read the following verse with me…

“He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will” (Ephesians 1:5)

I came across this verse during my daily Bible Study of the book of Ephesians with Good Morning Girls. When I think of God adopting me as His child, my heart is overwhelmed… with praise… with gratitude… and with joy!

God Almighty chose me… He selected me… handpicked me… But I wasn’t just a spur-of-the-moment choice! He predestined me for adoption – He had already planned on adopting me! WOW!

He brought me into a relationship with Him. He accepted me with all my flaws. He chose me to be His own.

My purpose for this post is twofold:

#1 If you don’t have a relationship with Jesus, I urge you to go to Him today. Accepting that I was a sinner and believing that Jesus died to pay the penalty for my sins was without doubt the best decision I have ever made. I am free now, no longer encumbered with my past because He has blotted it out with His blood. God wants to adopt you as His own. TRY JESUS TODAY! You won’t regret it :).

#2 If you do have a relationship with Jesus, would you take a deeper look at it? As I mentioned earlier, “Adoption is intended to effect a permanent change in status”. Are we truly living our lives as children of a holy God? In everything we do, say or think – do we bring glory to our Father?

I read the verse 3 days back, but the question lingers in my mind. And I am going to let it haunt me everyday. In everything I do, say or think, do I bring glory to the one who adopted me? I pray I will.

Adopted! Read More »

T.H.I.N.K.

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you are probably aware that I am trying to work on developing one good habit a month – and the habit for January is “Positive Speech”.

Imagine my delight when I found a simple acronym online that perfectly defines what I am working towards.

Photo Credit: http://pinterest.com/pin/221380137902652212/

Before you Speak, THINK: Is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind?

This also serves as an excellent reminder of a verse from the Bible – one the Lord wanted me to implement in my life this year.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)

I’m linking up with:

T.H.I.N.K. Read More »