The Excellent Wife: Chapters 3 & 4

I’ve been reading through The Excellent Wife, and I now understand why this book is a highly recommended resources for wives. I’ve been learning so much; and I’m so excited to be able to share it with you. This week we’re diving into chapters 3 & 4.

Chapter 3: A Wife’s Understanding of Sin

I’m in complete agreement with the fact that all have sinned and fallen short of God’s standard. I am a sinner, as are you. No matter how hard we try, as long as we live, we’ll be prone to sin. In this chapter, the author reminds us that sin cannot be hidden from God and a price has to be paid for our sins.

But a price has been paid. Jesus took my sins on Himself. He paid the price for my sins on the cross. And because of His sacrifice, I’m forgiven and free of the sins I’ve committed. I’ve done nothing to deserve this forgiveness. None of us can do anything to deserve complete pardon of our sins.

“The fact is that no one can be kind enough or good enough to merit God’s gift of salvation.”

But what we can do, is repent, accept Christ’s forgiveness and try (with God’s help) to live a life pleasing to Him.

Well, all that’s good; but what does this have to do with our marriages? According to this verse, we should strive to forgive others (especially our husbands) just as God has forgiven us. That means, the next time my husband inadvertently offends me, I have to forgive him; no matter how unfair it may seem. [Note: I’m not talking about physical or verbal abuse here. If you’re being abused by your husband, you should seek help.]

“Christians should graciously accept the forgiveness that they have in Christ and graciously bestow forgiveness upon their spouses.”

The second half of this chapter deals with the “put off” – “put on” dynamic. It explains how we can put off a self-honoring thought and put on a God-honoring thought. The book has a tabular column to help us recognize and replace our wrong, sinful thoughts with right, godly thoughts.

The next time I feel I can’t take the pressure any more, I will be reminded that God won’t allow things into my life that I can’t handle. And when I feel my husband should be more romantic towards me, I should remember that love does not seek its own way.

Chapter 4: A Wife’s Understanding of Relationships

“Only in Christ can the relationship of a husband and wife be godly, good, and righteously intimate.”

My husband and I have experienced (over and over again), that when our individual relationships with God are intact, our marriage blossoms. But when we’ve been inconsistent in our relationship with God, it shows on our marriage.

This chapter explains how God designed relationships to be. In order to improve our marriages, we must try to emulate Jesus and start living for Him, rather than for ourselves. Our focus in marriage must shift from “What can I get out of this?” to “What can I give?”.

Well, that is a hard pill to swallow. My selfish nature refuses to do something for my husband without expecting anything in return. And when I do something for him, I expect my work to be recognized and appreciated. But I know God expects me to serve my husband without expecting anything in return. That would be true love; that’s the kind of wife I want to be. A wife who seeks to please God by serving her husband. Obviously, I’ve got a long way to go :).

Come back next week to read about the next two chapters. So now, it’s your turn to share… How has God been teaching you to be an excellent wife?

Other posts in this series:

If you are interested in this series and you don’t want to miss a future post, you can sign up to receive new blog posts by email, or in a reader.

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Counting My Blessings: 562 to 594

“And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us.” (I Corinthians 2:12)

3 Gifts Returned

562. The boys putting away their toys before school.
563. Getting back to my morning routine.
564. Sons returning home after school.

3 Gifts Redeemed

565. Time.
566. My past.
567. Our internet connection.

A Gift Baked, Stirred, Eaten

568. A chocolate banana cake.
569. My morning coffee.
570. Lunch at a restaurant.

3 Gifts Prayed For

571. Health of loved ones.
572. Friends seeking a suitable life partner.
573. Women aching to hold their own babies.

3 Gifts Praised For

574. Good health.
575. The kids’ behavior.
576. My husband’s cooking.

3 Hard Eucharisteo

577. Hearing the kids whine.
578. Sore muscles.
579. Unexpected expenses.

3 Gifts of Change

580. Waking up at 5.30am.
581. Running again after several weeks.
582. Attempting to make an Indian sweet.

A Gift Small, Smaller, Smallest

583. 3 small stuffed lions.
584. The group gathered for prayer today.
585. The kids toenails.

3 Gifts Read

586. This Bible passage during fasting prayer.
587. Lyrics of songs projected in church.
588. The names of doctors in a hospital.

3 Gifts Said

589. The confessions in church.
590. The parable of the sower, read aloud in church.
591. Jason praying for the food, while we had an early dinner with friends at a restaurant.

3 Gifts Re-Read

592. Checking this blog post for errors.
593. My to-do list.
594. My first “Counting My Blessings” post.

Are you in the habit of counting your blessings? I mean, literally counting them 1, 2, 3… Would you consider joining me on this journey? Would you dare to live fully, right where you are?

To have new blog posts delivered directly to your inbox, you can sign up to receive new blog posts by email, or in a reader.

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Top 3 Thursday – Edition #8

Here are some posts that have inspired me over the past week. Would you click through and check out these lovely blogs?

1. The Power of Praying Scripture @ Lisa Whittle {Given my own experience, I agree that praying scripture truly does help us conquer fear}

2. Finding Contentment with the Girl in the Mirror @ The Better Mom {Read about how we can battle discontentment when we’re caught in a comparison trap}

3. The Pomodoro Parenting Technique @ Family Your Way {Check out how a productivity tool can help us be intentional with our children}

Did you read or write an encouraging blog post during the week? Share the link in the comments below, I’d love to check it out!

If you’d prefer to have new blog posts delivered directly to your inbox, you can sign up to receive new blog posts by email, or in a reader.

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The Excellent Wife: Chapters 1 & 2

I’ve started reading The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace, and I’m amazed at how God is using the book to open my eyes to a whole lot of biblical marriage principles. Something I particularly like is that the book is loaded with scripture, with every section and sub-section backed by verses from the Bible. This week, I’m sharing what I learnt from the first two chapters of the book. Let’s dig in, shall we?!

Chapter 1: The Excellent Wife

The author begins the book with her own testimony – a remarkable transformation of her life and marriage through God’s intervention. I could well relate to that. Although my husband and I were both believers when we got married, I struggled with the real-life dynamics of marriage. It is God who taught me (and is still teaching me) how to be a better wife.

“God wants every Christian woman to be a godly wife – an excellent wife.”

Ms. Peace writes that “an excellent wife reflects God’s glory by her attitudes and actions”. Ouch, that hurt! I have to admit that although I try to do the right things, my attitude isn’t always stellar. I wince as God reminds me of the countless times I’ve grumbled or snapped at my husband while serving him. If I want to be an excellent wife, my attitude (especially towards my husband) should reflect God’s presence in me.

Addressing the question of whether a woman can ever be a good wife, the book reminds us that God has given us the Holy Spirit to help us obey His Word and submit to His will. Well, considering that Jesus Himself said the Holy Spirit will teach us all things; it’s safe to say that the Holy Spirit will teach me to be an excellent wife.

And what happens when we fail at being a godly wife? Despite my best intentions, I will fall short. But when I do, God is faithful to forgive me and He gives me grace to try again.

Chapter 2: A Wife’s Understanding of God

“Our view of life is to be God-centered, not self-centered.”

God has planned a ministry for each of us. I believed my primary ministry was at home, to raise children who will love God and walk in His ways. I realized through this chapter, that my primary ministry is at home alright… but it is to be a helper suitable for my husband! My job of raising kids who’ll glorify God comes a close second.

Another thing that stood out for me in this chapter was the reminder that God will use all my life experiences (including the bad ones), for my good. And two ways good can come out of adversity: (1) Better character, and (2) God will be glorified if I respond biblically.

I always knew God had pre-planned the good works I ought to do in my life. But then comes the hard question… Am I doing them with a cheerful heart? If my good work for today is to keep my home clean for my family, do I do it with a joyful spirit or do I complain about how the kids keep messing up the house?

“In spite of the husband’s imperfections, God has chosen to place the wife under the authority of her husband.”

I’m someone who long rebelled against submitting to my husband. I now realize that by submitting to my husband, I am actually submitting to God’s will for me as a wife. And that’s the safest place to be – right in the center of God’s will.

That’s it for this week. Come back next week to read about the next two chapters. So now, it’s your turn to share… How has God been teaching you to be an excellent wife?

Other posts in this series:

If you are interested in this series and you don’t want to miss a future post, you can sign up to receive new blog posts by email, or in a reader.

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Chocolate Banana Cake Recipe

We came back from our trip last week, armed with delicious chocolate cake baked by my cousin. The only problem was that it got over all too soon, and left the boys craving for more. I remembered some over-ripe bananas I had frozen sometime back and decided to make this chocolate banana bread.

Well, it’s a pretty easy recipe to follow, except I didn’t have enough white flour or chocolate chips. So, I modified the recipe a bit and decided to make my own version instead. It turned out surprisingly well (even if I do say so myself) ;). Here’s the recipe.

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup white flour
  • 3/4 cup wheat flour
  • 1/4 cup cocoa powder
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 cup softened butter
  • 3 bananas
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

  1. Mash the bananas with a fork and keep aside.
  2. Dump all the dry ingredients in a bowl and mix them together. I used a whisk to mix the 2 types of flour, cocoa powder, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt together until they were well combined.
  3. Mix the wet ingredients together in another bowl. I used a hand mixer to combine the eggs, butter, mashed bananas and vanilla extract.
  4. Add the dry ingredient mixture to the wet ingredients and combine until you get a thick batter.
  5. Preheat the oven to 220 degrees (centigrade).
  6. Prepare a baking pan by greasing it with butter and sprinkling a little flour over it.
  7. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 40-50 minutes.
  8. The cake is ready when a toothpick inserted in the center of the cake comes out clean.

There you have it – a simple dessert or evening snack made in little over an hour. If you do try out this recipe, let me know how it turns out!

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Counting My Blessings: 532 to 561

It’s been a crazy awesome couple of weeks here! Thanking God for healing, an awesome family reunion, a safe road trip, a working washing machine, and these…

3 Gifts Finished

532. A birthday party.
533. My husband’s break from football.
534. The kids’ homework.

3 Gifts Flourishing

535. Weeds in our layout.
536. A litter of puppies.
537. The kids’ appetite.

A Gift Unexpected, Uneven, Unpopular

538. Rain.
539. The path outside our home.
540. An early bed time for the kids.

3 Gifts Shy

541. The sun at dawn.
542. A bride’s smile.
543. Sons who were surprisingly not shy when they met dozens of relatives.

3 Gifts Shelved

544. Jewelry.
545. Makeup.
546. Footwear.

3 Gifts Shining

547. The blazing sun.
548. Lights in my grandfather’s church.
549. A blue night light.

3 Gifts Orange

550. My grandmother’s outfit.
551. The wheels of 3 toy cars.
552. A packet of laundry detergent.

3 Gifts Falling

553. The temperature as we approached our city.
554. Gravel from the truck ahead of us.
555. Showers of blessing – every single day.

A Gift Caught, Let Go, Mid-Way

556. Time alone with God.
557. The boys as they boarded their school bus.
558. A stern lecture during study time.

3 Gifts Reaped

559. An early morning, after going to bed on time.
560. Several answered prayers.
561. Stronger faith and patience, reaped through struggles.

Are you in the habit of counting your blessings? I mean, literally counting them 1, 2, 3… Would you consider joining me on this journey? Would you dare to live fully, right where you are?

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Top 3 Thursday – Edition #7

Here are some posts that have inspired me over the past week. Would you click through and check out these lovely blogs?

1. Craving Conquerors @ Peak313 Fitness {How to fight the battle in our minds when we crave something that isn’t beneficial to us}

2. How To Be Your Husband’s Girlfriend @ Mark Merrill {Five simple ways to rekindle the spark in our marriages}

3. When The Days Are Long @ Joyful Mothering {A few things we mothers can do, to refocus and refresh our mothering goals}

Did you read or write an encouraging blog post during the week? Share the link in the comments below, I’d love to check it out!

If you’d prefer to have new blog posts delivered directly to your inbox, you can sign up to receive new blog posts by email, or in a reader.

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The Excellent Wife: Book Review – Introduction

“An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.” (Proverbs 31:10)

A little over 5 years ago, when my husband and I got married, my mother gifted us a set of books – The Excellent Wife and The Exemplary Husband. With all the excitement and uncertainty of a pregnancy that followed soon after, I shelved the books and promptly forgot about them.

Fast forward 5 years… I recently came across several bloggers recommending The Excellent Wife as a good resource for women interested in improving their marriage. Needless to say, I dug out my copy of the book and dusted it off. I decided to read through the book and implement what I learn in my own marriage.

I’m planning to read (and blog) through the book, two chapters a week for the next couple of months. I will be sharing with you my insights from the book and how I’m implementing them in my life. I’m hoping this series will benefit your marriage as well :). If all goes well, I will be blogging through this book every Wednesday until Christmas. Will you join me in learning how to be an excellent wife?

Other posts in this series:

If you are interested in this series and you don’t want to miss a future post, you can sign up to receive new blog posts by email, or in a reader.

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Monthly Goals: October

Hello October! At the beginning of each month, I share my goals for the month ahead and track my progress on the previous month’s goals.

My goals for the month of September were:

  1. Start the Good Morning Girls Colossians Bible Study. — Done
  2. Read through the book of Romans in the Bible. — Incomplete {I’ve still got a few chapters left}
  3. Finish reading The Power of a Praying Wife. — Done
  4. Read The Sensational Scent of Prayer. — Done
  5. Read Smooth Easy Days. — Done
  6. Teach the kids to memorize Psalm 121:1-2. — Done
  7. Read at least 10 new Kindle books to the kids. — Done
  8. Simplify/downsize my wardrobe. — Done
  9. Complete the last 2 weeks of the Couch to 5K training plan. — Incomplete {I have 5 days of training left}
  10. Memorize Psalm 8. — Done

My goals for the month of October are:

  1. Stay on track with the Good Morning Girls Colossians Bible Study.
  2. Stay on track with the Hello Mornings I Peter Bible Study.
  3. Finish reading Romans and read through the book of I Corinthians.
  4. Read the first 10 chapters of The Excellent Wife.
  5. Start reading Everything.
  6. Read True Christian Motherhood.
  7. Teach the kids to memorize Psalm 121:3-4.
  8. Read at least 10 new Kindle books to the kids.
  9. Complete the Couch to 5K training plan.
  10. Memorize I Corinthians 13.

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Are you in the habit of setting weekly/monthly goals? If you do, how did you do last month? If you don’t, how do you keep track of things you need to get done?

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Top 3 Thursday – Edition #6

Here are some posts that have inspired me over the past week. Would you click through and check out these lovely blogs?

1. What To Do With A Stinky Day @ Inspired To Action {Three steps to kick a stinky day in the shins}

2. Every Marriage Has a “How” Person and a “Wow” Person @ Modern Mrs Darcy {An interesting observation, and I find it to be true in my marriage as well}

3. Balancing Work Between Brain and Body @ The Better Mom {This will definitely keep us from getting burnt out}

Did you read or write an encouraging blog post during the week? Share the link in the comments below, I’d love to check it out!

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