The Excellent Wife: Chapter 21 & Conclusion

Today, we’re concluding our 2 month long study on the The Excellent Wife. You can catch up on the older posts here.

Chapter 21: The Wife’s Sorrow

This chapter is a guide to help women who are experiencing intense emotional pain that threatens to overwhelm them. The author reminds us how Jesus Himself experienced sorrow when He wept over Jerusalem, at Lazarus’ tomb and later on the cross. Jesus understood grief. He experienced it firsthand. And because of that we have hope in the midst of our sorrow.

“Godly sorrow is manageable. It does not overwhelm you. It co-exists within your heart along with the peace of God, the joy of God, and love for God and others.”

The author explains how God has given us love, joy and peace in our hearts. But when sorrow fills our hearts, it crowds everything else out. We let sorrow overwhelm us when we let ourselves feel like helpless victims who have no hope left. That isn’t the truth, is it? Irrespective of our depressing situations, we are not left without hope. We have a God who is our hope.

When we stop dwelling on what caused our sorrow and choose to react in a godly manner instead, we let God’s love drown the grief in our hearts. The author mentions some ways we can overcome sorrow:

  • Prayer
  • Speaking the truth in love
  • Being kind & loving
  • Blessing the person who hurt us
  • Get the beam out of our own eyes
  • Praising God through our despair

It is especially difficult when a husband’s sin is the cause for his wife’s sorrow. But choosing to trust God and making use of God’s provision (mentioned in chapter 14) will help the wife overcome her sorrow.

“Your heart may be broken over someone’s sin. Remember, though, that you are not alone. God, too, is deeply grieved as well as offended. God is ready and waiting to help you. He will bear this burden with you and lighten your load.”

Sometimes, we tend to blame God when we face extreme emotional pain (at least I do). I realize now that God will never let His loved ones go through sorrow alone. He is right there by our side.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4)

It’s soothing to know that God will never let us go through something difficult, unless He plans to teach us something and mature us in the process. And besides, He has promised us rest when we feel weary and burdened. Take heart, my friend… Rest in Him!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28-29)

Conclusion:

I have learnt a whole lot about being a better wife from this book. I’ve implemented a few of the principles I’ve learnt in my own marriage, and I know I react much more differently when conflict arises than how I did earlier. I am more intentional in respecting my husband, serving him and being submissive to him. I still fall short in several areas, but I’m happy to be God’s work in progress :).

I’m glad I took my time reading the book since it can be a lot to digest and implement in a short time. If you’re looking to improve your marriage and learn to be a godly wife, I encourage you to pick up copy and read it at your own pace. I wish you God’s best in your quest to be a Proverbs 31 wife.

“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:10-12)

Other posts in this series:

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