We’re on Week 8 of the The Excellent Wife series. You can catch up on the older posts here. This week we’re diving into chapters 15 and 16.
Chapter 15: Honoring Christ
This chapter basically explains that the key motivation for a wife to submit to her husband should be to honor Christ. Let’s face it, if we don’t have the right motives, we may outwardly submit to our husbands, but with a resentful heart. Even if we want to be submissive, it’s sometimes a struggle when we’re not in a good mood or when we’re in the midst of a heated argument.
“Regardless of her feelings, she should honor Christ by developing a mind-set or resolve to do the right thing in the right way with the right motive whether she feels like it or not. In the process, her feelings will eventually improve.”
The key is to change our motivation from “What can I get out of this?” to “How can I honor God through this?”. This chapter lists 20 biblical principles that should motivate wives to be submissive to her husband. Some of them are:
- Being grateful for what God has done for us.
- Renewing our minds through scripture.
- Realizing that true beauty lies in being gentle, quiet and submissive.
- Showing our love for God.
- Showing our husbands that we love them.
- Intentionally train (repeatedly practice) being a submissive wife.
- Being faithful in the little things.
The last one is something I need to personally work on. Sure, I try to be obedient to my husband and I don’t intentionally disrespect him. But in the midst of my daily activities, I am not always respectful with my tone, facial expressions or body language. In the end, it boils down to how submissive I am to my husband in the little things.
Chapter 16: Communication
Oh, this was a hard hitting chapter – it talks about how a wife should control her tongue :). The author lists out 9 principles regarding how a wife should talk to her husband, as usual backed by loads of scripture.
Here are a few things I learnt from this chapter:
- Wrong words originate from wrong thoughts and motives.
- I am accountable to God for every word I speak. (uh-oh!)
- I have to speak the truth to my husband, but in love.
- My words ought to be wise and kind.
- I should practice purifying my speech until it is flawless.
Here’s some wise, practical advice from the author: “… with God all things are possible. Work extra heard to think about what you are going to say and to say what is right in spite of how you feel”. Instead of just speaking out rash words that pop into our head, let us first think about it, refine our words and then communicate to our husbands.
I recently asked my husband if he had ever met a woman who had a ‘gentle and quiet spirit’. He thought for a while and then hesitantly muttered “No”. Apparently there are very few women in the world who are considered beautiful according to the Bible. So, I’ve decided to practice having a gentle and quiet spirit. It’s not easy with a houseful of rambunctious boys, but I’m going to try :).
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (I Peter 3:3-4)
Other posts in this series:
- An Excellent Wife: Introduction
- An Excellent Wife: Chapters 1 & 2
- An Excellent Wife: Chapters 3 & 4
- An Excellent Wife: Chapters 5 & 6
- An Excellent Wife: Chapters 7 & 8
- An Excellent Wife: Chapters 9 & 10
- An Excellent Wife: Chapters 11 & 12
- An Excellent Wife: Chapters 13 & 14
- An Excellent Wife: Chapters 15 & 16
- An Excellent Wife: Chapters 17 & 18
- An Excellent Wife: Chapters 19 & 20
- An Excellent Wife: Chapter 21 & Conclusion
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